i wan to go to lawkawai .. or what ever spellign .. lolx . it is so fucking beautiful lor ... i saw the photos from xiaxue blog ... u cannot believe it .. angie .. wanna go there when i go back sg?! okie? miss ya .. working time ..boo~

sux ... wah lao eh ... my hostel here kanna broke in about 3 days ago .. sux lor ... but luckily my collugues came home jsut in time ... the theif got caught in his hands were 3 laptops of my collugues ... luckily .... my laptop is safe .. cause ... it is under my blanket .. wondering why? cause i will bring my laptop to bed when i sleep to watch show b4 i sleep mahz .. hahahaha ... but the funny thing is .. my N95 on the floor is not touched wor ... mayb they din see lor .. haha .. but my another collugues who live with me had her things got stolen .. haiz ...
then went police station for statement .. do everything until 3am on that day .. so freaking tired ... it is on a friday somemore .. wha lao eh .. then nvm .. the forestic nd to come for fingerprints the next day morning .. so i have to get up early .. why me .. cause i speak the best english in this hostel .. kao .. should have said i duno english lor .. best .. lolx ..
still long more to go .. due to i yet to eat for days .. i am so weak .. then i in the police station gastric pain like fuck lor .. haiz .. wanna die ...

sigh .. i kanna food poisoning .. sad lor .. vomit, fever and diarroea .. for 3 days lerx lor .. nvr eat for 3 days .. no appetite ... sux .. haiz .. feeling so terrible ... help me .. arggx .. whu can help me ...

happy 22nd birthday to myself in abt 20 mins time ba .. haha .. this yr birthday is so "special" .. haha .. and lonely .. sigh .. i hate myself .. hate it .. haha .. i am just so useles .. reali trying to forget u .. its so hard .. its reali hard .. tryin nt to think of u .. its very hard .. and tiring .. god pls .. take all this away from me .. i had enuff ... reali enuff .. guess angie will be only one who rmb my birthday and will send me a birthday card .. its reali nice .. and sweet .. i miss u angie .. when i am back next yr .. we go for a short holiday okie? haha .. taiwan or japan .. and shop!! haha .. look forward to this .. guess familyship is the only one which wun end .. next is friendship .. relationship is the weakest .. it says end means end .. why .. after every fail r/s .. i told myself not to go into another one .. but again and again .. i step in it .. WHY !! Tired~~~~~~~

made a decision .. but before i say what is this decision .. i will say why .. cause .. perhaps u alrdyx found a new girl in ur life .. or perhaps everything is just a misunderstanding ... but i wun bother anymore .. i dunno whether could i do it .. but its my decision ... and i will try .. tho just now .. on the way here .. i am lsitening to mp3 .. and shuffle to qiang qiang .. i cried on the train .. i reali miz u lots .. but when i noe something .. which i dun reali like but i cannot do anything .. i realise everything is yi xiang qing yuan ..
so i have made this decision .. to forget u completely .. which means in the future .. even i saw u .. i will take as if i dunno u .. if u talk to me .. i will treat it as if i dunno u .. u will be out of my life ..
wei qiang u will be out of my life .. who are u .. sorry i dunno u .. its reali torturing me .. i am reali tired ..
a day after tomorrow is my 22nd birthday .. angie sent me a birthday card .. she is so sweet and nice .. i think nobody will rmb it .. suan ler ba .. perhaps i am nobody to everybody .. haaha ... well .. this trip to my uncle hse .. just on the ticket for travelling cost me 80 pound .. wth ... so exp ... ahh .. no wonder they say i will only go back every 3 mths .. haha .. its true lah ..
going watch movie ler ..
wish myself happy birthday in advance ..

i am alrdyx at my uncle hse lerx .. haha .. its so long i am here .. lolx .. feeling is so wonderful lohx .. haha .. but anw ... the train i took just nw was so nice and wonderful lohx .. just like taking a plane .. but the ticket is dam fucking exp ... abt 40 pounds lohx ! kaoz !!! zzz ...
so rushing .. if i could have another day off .. that will be so wonderful lohx .. hah .. but cannot lahx .. lack of ppl working lerx .. mayb other day bahz .. when my boss found enuff ppl ler .. sianz ...

why .. i keep telling myself its not a big deal .. but why do i matter so much till nw .. i reali miz u lots .. but i noe its impossible for us to be tgr once again .. cause we have changed .. everything is so different now .. but perhaps .. when i get back to sg, and we still have fate .. we might be back tgr again .. i dunno .. i will see by that ba .. do u still have feeling for me nw .. i dunno .. i am trying to make myself happy .. but somehow .. the way i laugh .. is all so fake .. nt from my bottom of my heart ..
i am reali very tired .. physically and mentally .. ever since tt day .. i yet to eat anything but drink .. since tt day .. i will show movie even i noe i am tired .. but nt very tired .. which means i wun immediately sleep tt kind . i will watch movie until 5am .. till my eyes automatically close .. then i wun think so much lerx .. haiz ..

one of my best collugue is gonna leave tmr .. i mean tmr is his last day at work here .. haiz .. he is the only one whom i cna share my probs with .. he is a pretty nice guy tho .. haha .. will be feeling sad lohx .. but nvm lahx .. my life here has to go on ..
on a lighter note .. i am going to my uncle hse this sunday!!! wanted to take off on tues and wed. . but cause of him leaving .. i cannot .. not enuff staff .. so i tot wed .. but i think .. aiya .. i sun finish early leix .. i mean work .. better mahz .. dun feel so tired .. haha .. so i chose mon my off day lohx .. =) ..
i finally had received my daddy parcel for my birthday .. the feeling is so different from when i am in sg, they gave me a present .. so much different .. i almost cried when i saw their photos and card .. my mum seems getting older .. and skinner .. and my daddy too .. sigh .. i reali happy able to talk to them on msn everyday ... mayb shld say almost? haha .. they so clever noe hw to use .. cause they have a clever daugther mahz ... whahaha ..
i wanna go back sg and spend my time with my family .. i realise .. nth is more impt than my own family .. cause whenever i need someone .. they will definitely be by my side .. tho they always very naggy de .. tell me not to spend so much money .. blah blah .. but nvm lahx .. if i nvr forget, last time i would jsut throw their temper .. but eversince i came here .. whenever they nag, i will just let them nag .. haha .. i reali miz them lots lots man .. =)
love ya mummy and daddy !!

我不知道我到底要什么？
我的心好乱。
我在想什么呢？
为何我知道是不可能的事，
我切盼者这么大的希望会发生。
天啊。。。
救救我吧。。。
我快不行了。
快撑不下去了。。。

我不知道你会看我的blog吗。如果你有看就好了。没有的话就没有的话就算了吧。
希望时间能够把一切给淡了。我会真的真心祝福你。我知道我跟你是不可能的事情了。我真的好想你。有如何？很想和你有未来。可惜不可能。谢谢你给我这么多回忆。我会牢牢记住的。谢谢你曾经给我的快乐。这些是永远不会忘记的。一辈子都不会。WEI QIANG 多多保重身体。永别了。我们的故事现在就画了一个句号。从此以后，我不会在讲“我们”。就是“你”或者“我”了。不知道为何你看了我的friendster，切不要add我。

was reading my previous blog entry .. it was like 2006? or 2005? wow .. so many things had happened to me all this yrs ... changing bf again and again .. not i wan .. or mayb i forced them to leave me one by one .. or mayb my mr right is not here yet baz ... this time .. 2008 .. he left me .. i rmb when last time my ex brk with me i had so much to say .. so much to cry .. but perhaps .. i said too much and cried too much .. for all this yrs .. and i am tired of it .. reali tired .. i wanted to avoid everything .. but .. i think back .. what is the point .. will i able to forget him .. just like last time .. in order for me to forget my ex .. i will delete everything ..
so in order to be strong .. i am going to face him .. wan be fren then fren lor .. why nt .. friendster i had created back .. no more deleting ! =) ..
bloodly hell cold .. raining heavily .. boo ~
take care wei qiang .. thankx for everything .. u taught me hw to be strong .. nt going to say to many .. all useless .. perhaps .. if one day, we had fate .. we will be back tgr .. by then .. whu noes .. haha .. cya! freezing~

if i say i am alright .. i am lying .. i am just acting .. its veri tired .. i reali hope u could be my side .. or come back .. but i noe even if u do, things wun be the same .. so different .. i guess all could i do is to cry and cry till i am tired ... mayb in the first place everything is wrong .. WRONG .. perhaps ba .. i decide to go back sg onli next yr .. till my last last day here ... i will just work and work .. perhaps ba .. work and forget abt my illness .. i dun wan to think of anything .. if die then just die .. i dun wan to go for any operation .. no .. what is the point ...

i am reali trying not to drop any any tears .. not at all .. i had deleted my friendster etc .. but why .. why at this moment my tears will drop .. why .. my heart aches .. i dun feel lk sleeping tdy .. i feel lk going out just like when in sg i am very upset .. but i cannot .. i reali dunno what is the real reason of us like tt end .. i believe he had some difficulties .. i dunno .. GOD SAVE ME~