felt so much better after talking to my bro and sis in law .
thankx god that i have them ..

Every of ur sentence,
i dunno whether is it the truth or false .
i dun dare to think .
i have no energy to think .
but why .
everytime i will find out things i dun wan to find out .
i have wasted my energy and time talking to u for 4 days .
it is all rubbish spoken from u and me .
if i have a choice again and i know i will knw u from here .
i wun have choose this path again .

in this earth,
is there anything called miracle will happen .
i doubt so .
i am just so disappointed in you .
juz becoz of u,
i choose to stay in uk and not going back .
how much i miss my family .
but yet i choose to stay here .
just because i ...
in the end ..
what i got ..
nothing .
but disappointment from u .
hope what my sis in law says will not be true .
dun regret ur decision in future .

what i hope now ..
what u said to me for this few days after our talk ..
is true ..
i dun wish to get hurt by u ..
becoz of u ..
i am willing to change anything ..
i hope u dun make me disappointed ..
i knw u will be my side no matter what ..
i am happy to have u by my side ..
thanks for everything ..
tho u reali hurt me alot ..
but i hope time will change us ..
change us to the better ones ..
probably there will b frenz scolding me silly ..
but ..
i reali dun wan to give up ..
if i want,
i will have given up long time when i knew abt her .
but .
perhaps i reali love u ..
u reali did brought me happiness .
but if her ard,
i feel akward .
haiz .
but nvm .
i knw u will do something .
and i know u did change a little for me .
i have influence u .
ilu cos.

i din know that my decision will influence so many ppl ..
aiya,
there are many reasons behind why i choose not to go back AGAIN ..
it is not convenient to say ..
anything ask me thru msn ..
or even still i mayb styaing here for as lng as i could.
i am applying for student visa ..
hopefully as time passes,
my boss help me apply working permit ..
the better lah ..
now looking for a course loh ..
aiya ,
see how lah .
i know i let kenny down again .
so sorry .
is this call no fate ?
probably yes ba .
all my collugues so happy that i not going back le
lols .
hahha .
suddenly i felt so happy as well .

i have decided not to go back on the 25th apr ..
sorry ..
i knw u are disappointed .
once again and again ..
really sorry ..
probably ..
timing for us are not right ..
i still cannot let go things here ..
i still cannot solve the things here ...
so sorry ..
probably i will be back in a few yrs time ..
i dunno ..

for past few days ,
there are somethings i couldn't think thru .
but after thinking for a few days .
i have tot thru .
i will be my best happily in uk for 1 mth .
i am going back for good .
tho abit reluctant to leave my best collugues in the shop .
but if old one dun go, new one wun come de.
so ..
"gu ma" asked me ytd what i wan to kip as memory on the day i go .
i said .
those photos taken with everyone of u in the shop is the best memories and present i will have .
i doesn't need anymore presents .
those memories will be kept in my heart .
5 yrs later,
when i take out the photos,
i will still then rmb i once work with all these ppl .
1 more mth .
and i am leaving this shop .
going back to my hometown .
"gu ma" asked me ytd,
i bare to put down all the things in uk meh .
i said i dun bare,
i will also force myself to do tt .
for everyone happiness .
=)
i will be happy .
will not affect my work .

shld i tell my boss tonight ...
that i am resigning or rather going back to sg on 25th apr ..
i am still considering ..
is it too early to say ..
but i scared ..
later he found a counter earlier than tht day ..
how ...
haiz ..
how?

regretted for buying my ticket so late .
shld have bought much earlier date .

i am so excited and bored at the same time .
its my bday today .
yaya .
23rd bday .
omg .
i am older by one yr again .
haiz .
going out le .
tata .
hope i will enjoy myself today ba .
my last bday in uk b4 i go back .
=/

i din blog recently .
waas too sick and tired .
thats for today update .
din feel very well now ,
go rest .
tata .
ciaoz
^^

haiz .
juz now,
my work place was having so much fun takin pics lahs .
haha .
coz one of my collugues got a new cam lah .
then wanna kip a memory of us .
so take pics lor .
hai .
suddenly so "she bu de" all of them .
haiz .
thinking that i am leaving here soon .
my heart so pain .
haiz .
but .
if the old nvr go, how the new will come right .
and there is nvr ending thing in this world .
so nvm ba .
if there is fate,
we will hence meet again de .
suddenly,
i reali feel lk gettin married and having my own family lor .
haiz .
perhaps it is not my life ba .
i dunno lah .
if i knew the person i love have a gf,
i wun nvr ever ever step into tt r/s .
coz i knw there will nvr be any end for both of us .
and there wun be any enternal love .
watch a HK drama series juz now lah .
then have this tots .
haha .
so emo ~
boo .
dun blog liao .
no mood suddenly .
tmr off le !!
yuppy!!!!
so happie !!!
=D
i will reali reali miss my collugues alot when i get back to sg .
so when my collugue told me that she will be washin the photoes tmr i ask her to help me wash for me as well .
so i can bring back to sg ma as a memory .
haha .
i felt so terrible .
there is nobody to talk to when i needed someone .
who can be there for me to talk .
nobody .
i reali feel a loner in this world .
haiz .
SUCKS

i am having my off day tmr .
yayayya .
i am so happy lahs .
my leg is so tired and aching .
haiz .
dun happy lor .
hmm .
juz taught my lady boss daugther how to create a blog acc .
haha .
hard to teach lei .
cause she dunno any HTML .
haiz .
she doesn't want to study .
haiz .
i feel lk she is juz lk my past lor .
haiz .
everyone has been trying to persuade her to study .
but she juz so stubborn and refused to .
i juz hope tt she wun be lk me in the future .
i want to go on holidays !!!!!!
but no money .
haiz .
how to have a fortune in a short period .
i miss dardar .
but dardar nvr say he miss me le .
haiz .
juz lk last time lor .
haiz .
i dunno lah .
dardar says dun think so much .
but sometimes history will reali make me fear .
haiz .
the feeling is juz so sucks lah .
oh ya .
today ate Mac Big Breakfast .
hee .
so happy .
coz its been sometimes since i ate it le .
hmm .
its so yummy .
but the portion is so small lei compare to sg de mac .
haiz .
wanna eat egg muffin !!!
lolx .
suddenly have this cravings .
ha!
i go work liao le .
tata .
some ppl are just so wu liao .
they have no life man !
so we doesn't need to bother abt those no life ppl .
=D

ever since i start work officially again,
i am so freaking tired each single day .
perhaps of my leggie lah .
aiya,
i dunno lah .
tired until dun feel lk playing AR .
lols .
tired until dun feel lk moving at all lor .
haiz .
juz so freaking tired lah!
and lazy lah .
hahahahahaha .
my dad juz told me a good and happy thing .
he bought a present for me for my bday .
he wanted to send to me de .
but since i goin back,
then he says i come back he then give me .
good good .
whahhaha .
so happy .
but he says he sending me bday card and 2 photos lah .
haha .
so happy .
my daddy so nicey and sweetie lor .
i love my daddy lots lots lah .
and my dardar too!!!

i juz wait for tt day to arrive.
omg.
my lady boss was so disappointed due to some reason juz now .
but i am so excited lahs .
^^

somehow at times,
i will hestitate of buying tix .
but .
i will buy it lata .
no matter what .
nobody can stop me .

i realise i am juz so stupid lahs hor .
i set my blog as public again lah .
then ask dar to check out whether success anot .
then i forget i actually post abt the mini surprise for him .
then he saw the post b4 i rmb lah !
then dar knw liao .
not fun liao .
but i told him .
i not gonna tell him what time and what plane i taking .
whahhaha .
i am seriously so excited and looking forward .
need to go on BIG diet .
7 weeks to lose the fats i gain for 1 mth .
omg .
its pretty hard .
after resting for 1 mth,
today is my first full day at work .
anddddddddddddddd........
my leg and head hurts lah .
fuck lah .
how am i gg to work lor .
sux .
i hate myself .
i wanna cry .
i wanna see and hug dar .
i wanna see my family and tell them i miss them so much .
but all could only wait till 7 weeks later .
=D
tmr buying my tix le .
omg .
i am so excited lahs!
no more changes for anyone .
sg is my hometown ,
and it will forever be the place i live .
i love my hometown,
and the people in my hometown .
=D
muackzzzzzzz
can't wait to catch up with allllll my fwens .
omg .
juz so excited.
can u seeeee .
lols .
i am so tired
juz dwl coming soon this thai scary latest movie .
it doesn't seems tt nice .
suddenly have no interest in watching horror show liao lei .
dunno why .
hmm .
i go watch my show,
then go slp le .
nights nights .
^^

juz diid something to my blog .
dunno is it successful anot .
i make my blog private .
hopefully it will be successful lah.
and ya .
ju ask jerry to do a small little test .
it is private now .
dar sure ask me why my blog become private de .
lol s.
nd to think of a reason .
hmm

once dar hear tt i am nt going back early .
he ji tao very sianzzz .
hahah a.
i feel lk laughing .
but anw .
dar tho i am not going back early,
but i am planning surprise for u lah .
so u cheer up kk .
u sure see le very happy de .
but at the moment i wun let u knw .
till end of april u knw liao lah .
to replace me de surprise lah .
hee .
sorry to make u disappointed .
muack

well .
nothing much to happy lah .
juz feel so happy .
happy tt everyday dar will try to make me happy and laugh lah .
haha .
juz love the way he is and we are .
decide to go back on the 12th of may!
could be even earlier lor !
hmm .
dardar so happy lah .
but he sounds not happy .
haiz .
dunno lah .
what am i saying now .
lols .
aiya .
my mind and heart in a mess lah .
haiz .

aiya .
seriously lah.
what shld i do lei .
i dunno lorx .
haiz .
i wanna go back asap .
tdy working later .
suddenly,
i have fears .
fear that i and dardar will not last long .
juz lk last time .
haiz .
i suddenly have this fear of losing him once again .
very scared lor .
haiz .
how ah .
dar i juz wan to let u knw that i reali love u .
but .
i am scared .

i realise that i made a big mistake .
i tot my course fee is $3010.
but it is not ..
it is $3900
omg!!!
die lah .
nd to re plan again .
and things aren't going to my way.
cause my dad put my money ....
aiya .
dun say lah .
secret shall be kept .
dardar and i knw can le lah .
ytd say dardar .
everytime discuss with him something or want him to says something realisatic .
he will not do it .
or says aiya up to u .
or says u go ask bla bla .
haiz .
next time dun discuss with him liao lah .
discuss = nvr discuss .
in the end i decide myself lor !
haiz .
stupid dardar lah .
mayb going to delay again .
cause some obstacles with me now to go back b4 22nd may lor .
haiz .
sux lah !

i realise that it is even mre crazy if u got mre than one thing went bonker .
my lappy and my hp .
wah lao .
sian .
faster want to get out of this shtye lah .
anw .
i decide liao .
go bck b4 22nd of may lor .
reg for my june course .
tt is my decision lah .
and .
i seriously seriously miss dardar alot alot !!!!
dardar i wan huggie from u ....
sobx
can't wait to see u at airport !!!
=D

its crazy to have a crazy laptop .
juz lk me .
my laptop i can seriously sense something is gg wrong with it lahs !
juz now cannot go online .
while he can .
dunno why .
then reformat le ok .
can go onlin e.
then soon cannot .
then now can .
wah lao eh .
crazy lah .
dunno what happen .
juz hope it will last till i go back lahs !
or else sad loh .
think b4 22nd may i go back ba .
=D .
i and dardar still thinking .
i dunno lah .
so lost .
gave my lady boss see dardar pic .
she say wah! so shuai ah .
lols .
i say ya lah .
my dardar lei .
=D

dun feel lk blogging .
sorry .
no mood .
no update .
juz feel so low now .
haiz .
sux .

in a few mre hrs will start working liao .
aiya .
sian lei .
almost 1 mth nvr work liao .
mayb will go and find pt job in the morning loh .
dunno lah
or mayb i nd to delay my date of gg back .
coz i realise it is impossible to save all my salary de .
coz i nd to pay the internet which is 40 pounds .
either i get a pt job .
or else i nd to delay my time .
haiz .
sux
how .
i dunno lah .
i also wan to go back early lei .
but hor .
somehow my financial dun allow me too .
sigh .
what to do .
my course start at 22nd june but stoppin date is 22nd may lei ,
next date is 12 aug and stopping date is 12 july .
how .
seriously i dunno lei .
lost .
what can i do .

talked to my mummy for almost 2 hrs ytd .
it is the first time i talk to her for so lng lah .
i told her .
when u and daddy by my side,
i din treasure,
juz kept gg out.
nw tt both of u nt by my side,
i wan to talk to u all nd to call and cannt see .
mummy told me lots of things .
mummy reali miss me lots .
coz normally i everyday will call at least once.
but sometimes lazy to call ma .
so two days nvr call,
then my daddy will sms me says why nvr call my mummy misses me .
lols .
my parents so cute lah hor .
then ytd my bros all went home to eat lunch .
my mummy says she cooking soup .
i wanna drink so i tell her mummy i wanna drink.
she says ok lah . u come loh . what time u reaching .
i miss their cooking
haiz .
sad lah.
was so bored tt i am reading my previous blog add de blog entries lah .
so many fears and memories came to my mind .
haiz .
feel lk crying .
wanted to tell dardaar something,
but hor forget liao le .
die lah till now cannot rmb.
oh ya dardar says .
when u come back,
cannot so close to ur guyz fren de hor .
or else i will jealous de .
lols .

suddenly i have so much to say .
to dardar .
i dunno where and how shld i start lah .
dardar .
thankx for all this understanding u have given me .
thankx for treating lk nobody will ever treat me tt gd .
i knw tt u are jealous coz i and him slping on tt bed .
but u trusted me and u nvr say anything .
juz wanting me to get out of this hse asap .
dar .
thanks .
tho we haven reali met .
but i felt we have known each other for yrs .
and it is fate that brought us bck tgr again .
i strongly believe tt we will treasure each other mre than b4 .
dar i looking forward to the days we will spend with each other .
hee .
miss u lots dar .
i used to plan alot of things .
tt time when we brk,
i tot everything is over .
but now fate has brought us miracle .
i knw tt i shld trust u juz lk u trusted me .
but sometimes past brought me fear .
i knw u will give me time .
our time difference is so big .
tts why there is nth u could do .
i knw we can overcome all obstacles tgr de .
everyday i have been looking forward to hear frm u .
i am glad tt what i had said b4 u still rmb .
juz lk what u had said b4 i will rmb .
everytime whenever we are tgr,
is the time i am abt to go back .
or rather tot of going back le .
lols .
dunno why .
juz so qiao .
dar so swt,
the first thiing when he on his com is to read my blog de loh ,
then will ask me why i post tt , blah blah .
oh ya ,
everydya video with dar .
then i smoke at his hse de ma .
then dar will say smoke nice hor .
he hor .
everything also cannot escape from his eyes de lei .
he win liao lah .
dar says i muz stop smoking coz i blog so big tt i will quit smoking ..
if nvr quit,
my fren will say me .
lols .
dardar always make me so zzzzz de lei .
anw,
tmr start working liao .
i think it is better lah .
no work,
money stop,
but mouth nvr stop coz "he" bought food for me lahs .
making use of him onli lah dar .
dardar slping now .
i so bored loh .
my fren all not free .
sian .
dardar nag tt i come back early ok .
lolx .
says i come back early then after 1 yr or 2 yr we marry .
then i tell him .
actually hor,
my ideal age of marriage is 25 .
then he laugh .
he says see i tell u two yrs max or so then we married .
lols .
i say ya lah .
u knw me lah .
he ah.
always act as if he knw me lk tt loh .
tdy alone at home .
coz "he" nt @ hm .
went to see his mom again lah .
i dun bother .
see see loh .
juz tell me coming back anot .
i nd to lock the door anot .
hahaa .