am i having some problems with my thinking and mind .
i dunno what i want .
haiz .
help .
i know darling is nice to me .
but .
as usual i suspect he have other girls outside .
haiz .
i dunno .
but whenever i am unhappy,
he will try to coax me and make me smile .
it is sweet .
nobody did that to me before .
like today i am angry with him .
for not making his promise .
then did not talk to him and look at him the whole day .
but .
he kept looking .
i said .
ncie to look meh .
look what .
he said ya lah . i dun mind and happy to look for my rest of my life .
zzz .
does he love me or does he not love me .
i dunno .
i always been guessing what is going on in his mind .
i can't seemed to catch his thinking .
but my "mama" said,
she know him for so long ,
she also dunno what he thinks .
how can i know .
haiz .
i dunno .
he have problems dun talk to me .
i have problems he wants me to share with him .
haiz .
but i want him to share his problems with me too .
tho i cannot help much lahs .
but at least sshare tgr will not be too much stress .
i dunno lahz .
he called and tell me tmr go eat breakfast tgr and go for shopping at supermarket .
dunno lahz .
i dun wan to rely on him anymore .
i want to learn independent .
i am afraid .
if i am too rely on him,
one day i lost him,
i will die without him .
so i told myself .
if he dun call, i wun call .
this is to prevent myself from hurting myself further .
anw .
i am done ranting .
nights nights .
seriously .
i do miss darling now .
wants to hug him to sleep .
haiz .
2 days nvr hug him to slp slp le .
haiz .
sobx .
loves .